Feb 24 2009
Computer Quotes
Programming
If McDonalds were run like a software company, one out of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning and the response would be, “We’re sorry, here’s a coupon for two more”. (Mark Minasi)
Considering the current sad state of our computer programs, software development is clearly still a black art, and cannot yet be called an engineering discipline. (Bill Clinton)
For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless, and then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match. (Bill Bryson)
Computer Science: 1. A study akin to numerology and astrology, but lacking the precision of the former and the success of the latter. 2. The boring art of coping with a large number of trivialities. (Stan Kelly-Bootle)
The computer is no better than its program. (Elting Elmore Morison)
Software Usability
There’s an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I no longer know how to use my telephone. (Bjarne Stroustrup)
That’s the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they really hate is lousy programmers. (Larry Niven)
Just remember: you’re not a “dummy,” no matter what those computer books claim. The real dummies are the people who, though technically expert, couldn’t design hardware and software that’s usable by normal consumers if their lives depended upon it. (Walter Mossberg)
Quality Assurance
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. (Paul Ehrlich)
The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency. (Bill Gates)
See, no matter how clever your automation systems might be, it all falls apart if your human wetware isn’t up to the job. (Andrew Orlowski)
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no one dares criticize it. (Pierre Gallois)
Software people would never drive to the office if building engineers and automotive engineers were as cavalier about buildings and autos as the software “engineer” is about his software. (Henry Baker)
Standards
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from. (Andrew Tannenbaum)
Standards are always out of date. That’s what makes them standards. (Alan Bennett)
Anyone who puts a small gloss on a fundamental technology, calls it proprietary, and then tries to keep others from building on it, is a thief. (Tim O’Reilly)
The Internet
The global village is not created by the motor car or even by the airplane. It’s created by instant electronic information movement. (Marshall Mcluhan)
Famous People
Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window. (Steve Wozniak)
Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest. (Isaac Asimov)
Training the workforce of tomorrow with today’s high schools is like trying to teach kids about today’s computers on a 50-year-old mainframe. (Bill Gates in 2005)
Miscellaneous
If there’s one thing that computers do well, it’s to make the same mistake uncountable times at inhuman speed. (Peter Coffee)
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction. (Janet Reno)
You have to ask yourself how many IT organizations, how many CIOs have on their goal sheet, or their mission statement, “Encouraging creativity and innovation in the corporation?” That’s not why the IT organization was created. (Tom Austin)
Who cares how it works, just as long as it gives the right answer? (Jeff Scholnik)